You are not the size of your jeans.
You are not the number of calories you eat each day.
You are not the percentage of body fat you carry at any given time.
You are not the three-digit figure you see on your bathroom scale.
You are not the circumference of your waist, butt or thighs.
You are not the weight on the barbell you pull off the ground or the dumbbell you lift overhead.
You ARE perfect, whole and complete as a human being.
Why do we allow inanimate objects to define our value and self-worth on this planet, reducing our opinion of ourselves down to the three digits on a piece of technology? Why do we allow a small needle or minuscule numbers to dictate our value?
In reality, the scale has little credence.
You were not born and named 6-pound 8-ounce Jane. You are not referenced by your weight in your relationships. You do not say: this is my beautiful 165-pound partner.
Do not identify yourself with a superficial number displayed on a worthless object designed to create doubt, shame and guilt, rather than love, acceptance and joy.
A number on the scale cannot physically represent health, dedication, hard work or determination. Nor can the number on the scale represent the amount of blood, sweat and tears you have poured out today, this week, this month or this year. There is no way it can determine how you loved, helped, supported, laughed, cried and lived.
Society has become very adept at using three little numbers to create an ideal, misguided and often imagined and unrealistic image of perfection which can leave one feeling inadequate. I am here to say you are ENOUGH! Your determination of worthiness runs much deeper than a two-dimensional airbrushed, photo shopped social media image or a digital number that simply proves the existence of gravity and the earth's downward pull.
Your beauty and strength are not defined by numbers. Life truly begins when you realize this truth. And when this occurs you become truly free to be the most authentic, powerful, fulfilled version of you.
Consider trying non-scale related feedback. Stand in front of the mirror and begin to tell yourself how much of a driven, dedicated, focused, amazing parent, spouse, friend, lover, human you are.
Realize that you’re GOOD ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.
Sadly, many people don’t believe it. I see it all the time in my work.
YOU ARE ENOUGH, no matter who in your life has told you you’re not. Losing fifty pounds, or getting hair extensions, or eating the perfect Paleo diet is not going to make you a better person. You’ll be the same, with much of the same issues, no matter what you look like. If you don’t love the way you look, make the necessary changes, but do it knowing and understanding this. You are a unique person with unique gifts, so be realistic with your goals, and kind to yourself. If you have trouble believing that you are good enough as a person regardless of how you look, it may be time to speak to a professional about this.
Stop comparing yourself to others
Understand that you have no idea what peoples’ lives are like behind the scenes. It could be your friend or someone famous, either way you probably have no idea what is really going into their look and their lives as a whole. The situation that they are in is not necessarily fun, fulfilling, or happy, even though you think it is.
You are unique. Genetically, you are different from everyone out there (unless you have an identical twin). There are certain things you simply cannot change. Your life is also unique – who else has the exact same body type, and living, work, money, and family situations? Likes and dislikes? Exercise tolerance? Comparing yourself to anyone else is fruitless. If anything, compare yourself to…yourself.
Treat others kindly (even if you’re just saying mean things about them in your head). This might seem like a strange way to stop comparing yourself to others but stay with me here. I truly believe that recognizing the good in others instead of criticizing them can reflect back on you, since many times when we are critical – especially regarding physical appearance – it’s actually about us, not them. When you are unsatisfied with your own life, it can manifest into criticism of everyone else (along with ourselves). The problem is, that it takes away from your feeling good about yourself even more.
You might be thinking ‘that person has a really ugly scarf on!’ (and we all do think those things sometimes) and you stop and change that thought to, ‘I love her shoes!’ or, ‘she’s probably a really kind person’, it will help defuse negative feelings that you have. It will also help you with picking out good things about yourself, too!
Focus on your worth
When you flip the negative to positive, it stops that destructive behaviour and feels a lot better, too. If you’re loving on others, it. Becomes easier to love more on yourself. Try it.
We all have worth. No matter what you might have been told, you are worthy of happiness, of a good life, and of loving yourself. Those are basic rights. We also each have good things about us.
What are the good things about you? Choose something. You could be a good mother or friend; you helped someone today; you love your eyes; you are a great cook. Write down one good thing about yourself each day. Some days might be tougher than others, but each day you will be able to figure at least one thing out. Be a role model for others – your kids, your family, your friends or your community by realizing your strengths, value and WORTH.
If you do need to measure something, start by asking yourself how you feel.
- Do you feel strong and healthy?
- Do you feel better than ever?
- Do you have more energy?
- Are you performing well in the areas of your life that matter to you? Focusing on your actions, what you do every day, what you have and are achieving is the only way to produce results.
- Are you eating well?
- Are you exercising or training consistently?
- Are your actions aligned with your goals?
If you feel like you are lacking in one of these areas, you and you alone have the power to change it.
- If you do not feel energetic, focus on drinking more water and getting more sleep, then measure these again tomorrow.
- If you are not eating well, make a change, recommit, do something different and positive today, then measure again tomorrow.
- Reflect! Are you making progress towards your goal? If you are, what are you doing that is creating this shift? If not, why?
Avoid putting off your life and waiting for other people to fix what you are dissatisfied with for you. It will never happen (because that is subconscious avoidance which keeps you stuck).
Stand up, dig in and fight for your life; it is a true blessing and too short to waste.
Train for life, not a number on the scale. Do this because your heath is important, because you deserve to live a fulfilled, wonderful life. Do this to love who and what you are, now, today. Do this because you are worth it.